Tuesday, December 11, 2012

The Ending of a Breastfeeding Journey

437 days. 
I am so proud of that number. Why? Well, because breastfeeding isn't a walk in the park. And I am so glad I made it so long without giving up.

My journey started in the hospital, when the nurse handed me my tiny, hungry baby. I will always remember the first time he latched. The look on his face said it all. I knew I was doing the right thing for him and I when I saw that look of satisfaction.
We faced several obstacles over the last 1 year, 2 weeks, and 10 days. One was the STUPID nipple shield. I hated that thing! If you've ever used one, you know just how annoying and frustrating these things are. Another, and probably my biggest obstacle, was pumping. I loathed the entire act from start to finish.
But in that moment when your baby is nursing, his eyes getting heavier and heavier, and he dozes off and looks so peaceful with a full belly and in a milk drunken stupor, all of the struggles are 100% worth it.

I started the weaning process just after Fox's first birthday, eliminating nursing sessions and giving him milk in a cup. Slowly making my way to this past month where he was only breastfeeding once at night. This past Monday night after putting him down for bed I realized -- he hadn't asked for my milk at all. I have been allowing him to nurse at night whenever he asked because I felt he was attached and not ready to let go of that last session just yet. Or maybe I was the one attached. Either way, it slipped both of our minds. Then tonight rolled around and the same thing happened. He went to bed happy and content -- without nursing.

my little milk drunk baby :)

A very rare occasion - he is sitting still!

It is a very bittersweet feeling.
There were many challenges, but I'd do it over again in a heartbeat.
And I sort of already miss it.